Procrastination Conquered

Perhaps I need to wrangle myself back to this website and confess that I have been working on a play and NOT taking my thirty minutes a day to come over here and provide you with some inspiration. I have been very remiss. So, today’s prompt will be, for me and you, the word Procrastination. We all do it, some more elegantly than others. Some more blatantly than others. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a simple solution? Ponder that. Write about it, or any other thoughts or feelings that come to mind about procrastination. And, here is my contribution for today:

Procrastination Conquered!

I am so good at procrastinating that I could write a book. Of course I could, but it seems that my nail is chipped, and I must attend to that. Not that anyone else can see this chip because I am working alone in my little office, but it matters TO ME. So, where is my acetone, where is my fingernail file, where is that polish?

Ah, fixed. Looks lovely. I cannot type well with a wet fingernail, and besides, it is the long finger on my right hand, the busiest finger on my keyboard.  So I will just scroll. I will go to Amazon.com and scroll through book covers of the bestsellers. Yes, Virginia, books do sell by their covers, front and back. Presentation and blurb. What is new? I will be ready to go when my book on Procrastination comes out, perhaps as early as next year. I don’t want to be in a mad hurry, after all, I must put a lot of thought into the book.

Of course, it will be a short book, I will publish it on Kindle Direct Publishing, I will offer it for $1.99, or even 99 cents. The reason it will be very short: when someone who has the same affliction as I do actually bites down on the purchase, they must be able to read it quickly. They may not pick it up again because of, well, distractions and procrastination.

They WILL buy it because my cover is going to be breath-taking, and the accolades from my first readers absolute in their recommendation. This little pamphlet (yes, I have decided now that it will be a pamphlet, not a book book) will be something that spouses can place in the reading room of the house (the American bathroom with the porcelain throne). Caveat: all other magazines and newspapers must be removed from the bathroom, and smart phones must be left at the door.

Those who have been willfully or unconsciously self-blinded to their self-sabotaging habit of procrastination will discover how much more they can accomplish, how much better their home will be maintained, how much stronger their bodies will be, and, ta da! how that elusive little furry cuddly pet named Harmony will come and settle onto the hearthside and purr.

After reading once through, and it won’t take long with my ten-page bulleted method of laying it all out for them (and myself, I will get on with it soon), so after reading once, the mind will sing with delight, knowing there is a way, or multiple ways, out of the dusty cobweb of existence these individuals have sealed themselves into. They don’t even have to think of the way out of the quagmire themselves, they only have to begin with my amazing ten step plan. Oh, possibly I could condense it down to five steps. Ten steps may be over-doing it.

The rapid change in personality may stun other housemates, because with the transformative urgency of a newly converted born-again Christian, a hurricane of activity will ensue. Couch potatoes, beware! This is not a negative hurricane, it is a positive storm of rapid actions and changes. Choices that have long been too difficult to make are pulled to the forefront and acted upon. There is, you could say, a veritable stick of dynamite that has been lit in the former procrastinator’s mind, and suddenly, floors are washed, drapes are cleaned, furniture is painted, polished and rearranged. Closets are cleaned out. The paper shredder is in full use.

Once the domicile has been attended to and put on a schedule, the new recruit steps out into the world singing, smiling, and seizing every waking moment. Oh, of course building-in that meditative hour to stop and “be here now” is not only allowed, it is imperative. Rejuvenation is necessary. This is best done in the presence of nature. Next to a body of water, in the sight of hills or mountains, or watching a river roll. This can be done in your mind, or in your parked car. No looking back at yesterday, no looking forward to tomorrow, just staying in the now. Yes, a challenge. But it is a state that can be practiced until familiar. And procrastinators will love it. A proper excuse to relax.

So, back to my pamphlet. I am procrastinating by considering the cover art, the reviews, and the effects upon future readers. In the here and now, my fingernail has dried, I WILL ignore my urge to scroll through my Facebook and Instagram alerts. I WILL begin immediately to get this wolf on its way…. Trot, trot, trot, now!

I am doing it, here goes, “Procrastination, Kicking it to the CURB,” by  I.M. Paine

To be continued at a later date.